I am tired of sending out resumes, filling out apps, being bored due to lack of job. I am tired of my options being cleaning, errands, walking the dog, tending to the garden, and I forget. I am mad at people who have jobs, because I do not. In two months that I have been looking, i have only had two interviews anddddd did not get them. I do not know why. My mental health in june cleared up but due to unemployment, I am depressed due to my predicament. Feel like I am running out of steam. To top it off , my doctor had to lower my dosage of lithium because of hair loss. Now it looks silly and all I can do is wait for it to grow back. I feel ugly due to it. I tell myself I cannot do this again tomorrow, but do it again anyways. I want to scream about how I have been incovienced by bipolar and ocd. I have hiked a lot, lots of walks, look at stores to get out of the condo, hung out with friends, I do therapy, puzzles, books, blog, and what have you. I TRY SO HARD, GO THROUGH THE SAME FEELINGS EVERY FUCKING DAY, AND FOR WHAT? I have knocked myself out looking for jobs countless hours, hundreds of applications and resumes.
That is it, I had to put it somewhere.