Mother in laws

Anyone not particularly like their mother in laws? Currently mine is visiting and she does this poor me routine, invites herself on visits that are too long, and complains about her health problems over and over.  Always repeating her issues.


Warning: venting

I am tired of sending out resumes, filling out apps, being bored due to lack of job.  I am tired of my options being cleaning, errands, walking the dog, tending to the garden, and I forget.  I am mad at people who have jobs, because I do not.  In two months that I have been looking, i have only had two interviews anddddd did not get them.  I do not know why.  My mental health in june cleared up but due to unemployment, I am depressed due to my predicament.  Feel like I am running out of steam.  To top it off , my doctor had to lower my dosage of lithium because of hair loss.  Now it looks silly and all I can do is wait for it to grow back.  I feel ugly due to it.  I tell myself I cannot do this again tomorrow, but do it again anyways.  I want to scream about how I have been incovienced by bipolar and ocd.  I have hiked a lot, lots of walks, look at stores to get out of the condo, hung out with friends, I do therapy,  puzzles,  books, blog, and what have you.  I TRY SO HARD, GO THROUGH THE SAME FEELINGS EVERY FUCKING DAY, AND FOR WHAT?  I have knocked myself out looking for jobs countless hours, hundreds of applications and resumes.  

That is it, I had to put it somewhere.

Did not get the job

Had an interview on Friday to be a living assistant in a senior home.  Basically I would get to know the residents and their likes.  From there, I would creates events based on their likes.  Set up, tear down of those events.  Also driving the residents to group events or errands.  Creating the newsletter and other clerical duties.  It was a group interview that I felt went  very well.  I wanted this job.  This morning, I get an email saying I did not move on to the next level.  Of course I became sad/depressed that it feels like I cannot break back into the world of work.  It was late june that I started looking due to my disdorders  under control.  Tomorrow is August, I wanted to have a job before my classes started up.  There is only so much I can do in a job search, there is the employer that has to accept you, which of course I cannot say hire me.  Therefore that other half feels out of my control.  Has anyone had these challenges of returning to work after months of mental health problems?


P.S.  Coffee helps

My job search

Well.  Not sure if I wrote about this before but I did not get the job I really wanted as a paraeducator.  I asked via email if there was any constructive criticism she could give me which she replied she had none.  She also said that the school system has a rule to hire first internal candidates before external.  Ok, why bring in anyone who is external then?  Took awhile to get over because it was my perfect scenario job that would work around my two classes.  Recently , I interviewed for a vibrant living assistant at a senior home.  The job description says you would organize events for the residents, get to know them, run the events, some clerical stuff, and make the newsletter.  There is more, but I do not remember it all now.   What I like about this job is it is helping people, with multiple duties to keep me busy.  The interview was a group interview, there were six other people and one company employee.  It was easy.  Apparently, multiple positions were up for grabs. The woman made it a point to tell me on the way out that she is giving my info to whoever would oversea me and it would be a couple of days.  Last time I heard a couple of days, it was three weeks.

Other than that, the med changes have done a lot of good.  I am not having problems with OCD, bipolar, or depression.  It feels very good  to just sit and be.