It is night, and I have a need for speed. Clouded mind, thoughts are racing, best thing for that is speed. Speed in my car. Here I go, up the off ramp onto an interstate.
Why you ask am I doing this? At the time, I thought my higher power was telling me to drive to a predetermined destination to find a purpose in something or someone. Full speed ahead. Why are cars driving the wrong way on this highway? They are barely missing me and I make no effort to move over. Every car going by, narrowing missing me. I think, “wow these idiots keep driving the wrong way, I might get hit.” I have to get to my destination, as my thoughts tell me I need to get off the highway now, to my next direction. As I exit the on ramp of this highway, dodging more cars, I get pulled over. The officer is shocked at what I am doing but I feel it is all perfectly normal. He tells me there have been several calls from 911 that a car is driving the wrong way on a highway. I say, “really?” I need to arrest you and take you into the precinct for an evaluation. I laugh at all this because I am on cloud nine, as happy as can be. Feeling always invincible and on a non stop rainbow of happiness, I am not fazed.
What I did not know at the time, was I was in a full blown manic episode and was not aware and undiagnosed of Bipolar one. That folks, is just a taste of the tip of the iceberg of that summer in the bipolar world separate from any world.