As I sit listening to , “Stranglehold,” by Ted Nugent; inspiration comes in like a waterfall. I have always said it is the little things in life that get me going. This song I have found is great for my 40-50 minute elliptical cardio session. This song pumps me up for many different occasions. Especially when I really do not want to go do something, like the basic mundane things in everyday life such as errands, chores, cleaning, cooking, or car maintenance. Necessary, but extremely boring. Boredom is my worst enemy by far. I am not my worst enemy , boredom is. Music is put in place so I can get through those things or get pumped up for it. Especially work. Every job I have ever had was very cumbersome, and boring. See a pattern here? The only thing I ever looked forward to in a job was the social aspect of it. Other than that, I start a job, master it in a couple weeks and want to throw it away like a bag of stinky garbage.
Never knowing why this is , I just assumed the jobs were just that , boring. None of it moved fast enough, people seemed to take forever to just one simple thing done when I whipped through it all in the first two hours. Only recently, I found out after being diagnosed with ADD that this is a very common trait. Also, I am told there really are certain types of jobs that are best suited for ADHD sufferers. Apparently what I need according to him is a job of variety, project orientated, some routines but very little, and moving around most of the time. No cubicle crap will I deal with. I have tried that route, and felt like running from the building so that I could break the boredom by jumping out of a plan or that nature. Types of jobs that fit this? Outside sales, a nurse, they say teaching but since I have done that, that bored me too, so that is out. Never could I understand why anyone who sits the majority of the time for a job liked that job. I mean, I would rather shoot myself in the head than do that. Racking my brain to figure out how people stand it, and never have I figured it out.
My personality is out of the box, calling out the elephant in the room, low tolerance for stupidity, mind churns for the best logistically plan of a situation, doing it full throttle, non conformity living out loud woman. What do I do with that as it concerns a job? Right now I do substitute teaching because I get to see new environments, people, students, and moving. That will do it for now. Does not matter that I did graduate from college, I tried working in my field and was completely unsatisfied and guess what……………….BORED. There is that pattern again.
The meds help for the everyday focus on the monotonous crap that we all do. When I say, “God, where is my fucking adderall,?” I really mean it. Coffee works too to a little amount, but the meds are a Godsend. Makes my life a lot easier in a way I never knew it but adjusted and compensated for my ADD without ever knowing what I was adjusting too. Here is a myth that I need to point out, people who have ADHD can still work, finish school, advance in college, and still be successful. Just because you have done this, does not mean your immune to this affliction. It all depends on where you are in the wide spectrum and intensity of ADHD. Luckily I have been successful to a point in life; but there have been goals that I just could not get to transpire completely. You have the best of plans, ambition, confidence, go through with it, but does not quite get there. The ability to COMPLETELY follow through on a goal without throwing it away due to frustration of little failures, or things not going your way is typical of a neurotypical individual. As for me, I have thrown things away, gave up too easily, got bored with it, and you get the idea.
What is even funnier is I will obsess over goals to the point it is the only thing I focus on. What happens is my OCD kicks in and caps the ADD aspect and I just succeed. The only quirk to this is I have to be completely interested and not bored, it cannot be just anything tasked for me to do. My therapist tells me the reason why I succeeded in college is because my OCD capped the ADD fleeting sense in order to persevere through a drawn out process that is accomplished in a number of years. She says usually ADD people take twice as long to finish a degree. So combine that with Bipolar, and PTSD, I am told I have a complex circuitry. Really, no kidding.
Where does this all leave me in life? To reinvent and focus on some job that will use my positive traits that come from my illnesses. Yes, there are actually a lot of them if you do your research.
What has been your experience with ADHD and work life?