Waiting, waiting, waiting, and then what? More waiting; and other ramblings.

Yes, you read that right, the trying power of waiting.  While I apply for jobs and then follow-up later to try to get the leg up on any competition, here I wait.  At the whim of the person on the other end of that job ad; waiting to see if they pick me for an interview or when they decide to make that hiring process happen.  Applying for jobs feels like sending cover letters, applications, resumes into some sort of black hole that may or may not spit it back out with results.  You cannot make it all happen because of other parties involved and like usual, I like control and power.  Because I do not have the power and control over this subject, I am waiting for the answer.

Lately, or at least the last two weeks or so, my writing, guitar playing, reading, and the gym is not enough for my day.  Needing more things to do to take up my day is a must.  TV I can do in small doses but after I accomplished things in the day first though.  A huge need to live life out loud, and not through electronic media, there is way too much time spent at home.  Cabin fever sets in but having exhausted my options of trying to keep busy without a job, is becoming cumbersome.

Today though, I am picking out a brand new Terrain and trading in my current one, so that will be fun.  Not as fun as the first time with my 2010 Terrain because it seems sort of old hat but something different to add some spice to the day.  I am downgrading my engine from a v-6 to a v-4 and switching from AWD to FWD for better fuel economy.  If I lived in Alaska , I would stick to AWD.  My salesperson is from England and has a neat accent.  Very nice and doesn’t rush the process, I appreciate the process.  This will keep my interest for a while and then I will have my new vehicle with the new technology to play with on a 2015 model.

Like all new things we buy, you get used to it after sometime, and need new stimulation.  The same could go for a computer, or upgrading to a new smart phone.  Every year, new models are made for both, and technology geeks seek out the latest and greatest thing because it is exciting.  The process starts all over, you love the new thing, the new thing wears off, and you seek the next best product.  Cars, gadgets, computers, the list goes on.  Isn’t the human race a sucker to the retail environment which drives their sales?

Back to my original train of thought, the gym worked for a while , and somehow , even despite the emotional and physical benefits of going to  the gym; I am now bored with it.  UGH.  My therapist says it is just typical ADD stuff, same with how I get bored with jobs, once I master them.  Why am I bored with the gym?  For some reason, I don’t like the environment, specifically their colors.  Their colors are purple, yellow, and black.  Too dark for my interests, and seems like a pit?  I mean there are lights, but it seems dingy, being in a strip mall and all.  Am I too petty and should I get over it?  I don’t know, but that is what comes to mind.  Maybe if they had a cafe of sorts to eat afterwords and coffee, I would like it more?  hahahaha

I admit it, I do envy those who don’t bore easily and can stick with something easily.  Not knowing that state of mind, seems foreign.  Same as not dealing with OCD and obsessions in general, life would seem much more easy to deal with.  My therapist says getting a job will take care of a lot of my current issues by giving me structure, something to keep my mind busy, and feel good that I am doing something other than my hobbies, and making money.  You might wonder how am I buying a new vehicle without a job, well; that is personal, and no I am not taking loans out.  I am just that good.  hehehehe

So , here I wait, waiting for an opportunity to put my skills to something again.  Itching, craving, to get out of the house for most of the day.  I do not enjoy feeling like a hermit or not living life to the fullest ability I possibly can.  Of course, this is where the obsessions come in, wondering when a call will come for an interview, how much more of this boredom can I take?  Usually , I fill up my day until noon, I get up early in the morning, and do things until I run out of things to do.  That is when the boredom sets in and the annoyance.

How do my readers deal with this if you were ever in this situation?  College time was awesome, because there was so much variation in my schedule, not the same classes everyday, and sorority life added a lot of variation.  You see different people everyday, tons of socialization, I always felt like I was on top of the world there.  Then you graduate and life seems stale.  Your social life , you keep in contact but everyone has to move on and find jobs, and do the next step.  I did return to college a couple of times for some classes but it was nothing of the experience in my undergraduate.  Your around all these young kids and you feel completely out-of-place or at least I did.  That just seemed to ruin it.  I did do the online classes which I did well in but you don’t get the same experience as being in an actual lecture or lab in person interacting with your professor or classmates.  I feel the best way to do college is in person having done it both ways.

So here I sit, waiting, pondering, wanting, and itching to move on.  Just typing about this makes it feel better.  Rambling on, jumping around from subject to subject, is fun.  Jimi Hendrix plays on my computer, which also reminds me that I can go play his music which I do.  Certain songs, like The Wind Cries Mary, Red House, and more.  I wonder if Jimi Hendrix ever got bored playing his music.  Bands play their songs over and over and over due to their fame, but do they ever just get tired of hearing the same stuff over and over?  That must be hard.

Still waiting, perhaps I will re-paint our living room and dining room walls a new color.  I know, I will seek deep and stimulating conversations with people who can provide it.  What is funny is a lot of people are not into deep, thought-provoking conversations.  Why is that?  They would rather talk about the weather, cooking, entertainment news, or their kids?  Come on people!  Expand your mind, use those brain cells!  It was easy to get this in college, but after that, not so much.  Once in awhile , I run into others like me, but too far and between.

So reader, give me something thought-provoking in the comments below, I welcome it.


2 thoughts on “Waiting, waiting, waiting, and then what? More waiting; and other ramblings.

  1. My assignment today (blogging101) was to leave comments on 4 blogs I have never commented on before. You are #2. I picked you because much of what I have read here I can relate to. The only major difference so far is our opinion on the colors of your gym. Purple and yellow are my favorite. We can learn from our differences and I am all about learning. I will definitely be back to read more of what you have to say.


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