The amazing change one day has on me.

Yesterday was a super low day.  I had obsessions that would not let go, and sent me into a deep depression.  Now, today it has all changed.  The opposite end has landed.  Today I feel refreshed, and looking forward to the future.  Maybe that is typical of being Bipolar perhaps?  Not that I know what the future will hold or come from it but feel positive anyways.  I have a couple of ideas I am exploring as far as going back to college again that have my interest and I will explore them to see if it is a good fit or not.  One is teaching biology in the high school level, which I have the option to do a fast track 10 month program to become just that through a college, it is a masters program.  The other is a cardiac sonographer through another college which is a 13.5 month program.  I would have to a do a few pre-req.s but I can do that.  I have always had a big interest in medical things of all sorts since a little kid but never thought I could do anything in that field because I was not good at science in high school.  Therefore, I did not explore that idea, just chucked it.  Every-time I am at a hospital for me or someone else, I am always asking questions about what a machine does or what the procedure does , how it works.  Usually I keep them longer than that want, but I have a huge curiosity in the information.  It’s like I cannot get enough.  It’s always been a fun past time to study.  Never thinking I could be a nurse, because I did not like that avenue specifically though.

One day, I had an echocardiogram to see if there was anything to my heart palpitation’s my doctor found.  While it showed nothing that would hurt me, I was fascinated with what I saw on the screen , and pelted all sorts of questions to the cardiac sonographer.  As much as he had time for.  I thought it was so cool to see what was on the screen, the valves, what they do, and how all the functions work together in the heart.  Funny, I did not want to leave and wanted to see more, but didn’t ask, thought he would think I was strange.  Perhaps I should have always known being at a hospital or medical environment never bothered me , but fascinated me, and saw it as a learning opportunity.  I should have known that for every surgery I had, asking all the people in different job titles about what they do, and questions specific to my case; there was something there.  Going into an operating room is great because I want to know what everything is and what it does, but never have time to explore because the team wants to get going on my operation.  I squeeze in as much as I can before I am put to sleep.  I always get the feeling they don’t get someone like me often in there.

So, we will see where this goes, and see if my interests lasts, I have nothing to lose.  I will hold onto this feeling of being happy.  Never hurts to at least explore the idea.


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