Here we go again, and again, and again.

Today I woke up feeling bad from some nightmares.  Came out into the living room feeling blah due to sinus issues.  Too tired to get up and make breakfast, I laid there watching TV with my husband.  My mind somehow went to sadness starting from what I don’t remember.  Took my medicine five minutes later and went back to the couch.  A half hour later, I have this huge meltdown, crying to my husband feeling so sad and low that it seemed unbearable.  So I vented, cried, and after that; I seemed to just snap out of it?  Very disappointing because of the frequency this happens or has been happening for the past two weeks.

Yesterday, I purposely did not take my ADD med to compare any differences from taking it to not taking it.  Yesterday, no meltdowns, felt sad here and there, but bored mostly.  Not a lot of motivation.  Today, after the meltdown, it went away and I felt good and motivated.  Other than sinus issues, feel fine and getting things done today.  I see my doctor first thing tomorrow morning and I have two pages typed up of all the negatives and positives in the last two weeks.  See, the problem with people who are bipolar and ADHD, stimulant meds that treat ADHD can sometimes negatively affect bipolar.  Bipolar is affected in that it is pushed around by the med causing the big lows and highs of mood swings.  So, the purpose of this appointment is to see if it is the medicine or too much of no job, too much downtime perhaps?

I have no idea but it’s all just too much to go back and forth like this, and no one should have to live this way.  If anyone out there has had experience with being treated for bipolar and ADD/ADHD, please share.

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