This again!?

Last night , I had a bit of a panic attack while trying to goto bed.  Same issue, not enough to do in the evening, so I watched two movies back to back which I did enjoy and it took my mind off of the art of worrying over worrying.  There is a specific word for that action but the name eludes me.  Once the movie was over, I was left with my thoughts and my mind did what it does best it seems, obsess.  I came out in the living room to vent a little to my husband, cried slightly, then felt my trazadone kick in to help me sleep.  That worked, and I woke up today feeling fine.  How does that work exactly?  LOL  My husband said, you are worrying about worrying that a worry will come back to you?  Yes, saying it out loud, it does seem silly and laughable.  I am laughing over it now.

I think it all started with getting tired of the sound of our air conditioning running constantly to keep up with the big heat wave on the east coast, plus hearing the fans running.  They became an irritation, then I felt trapped inside our condo like it was too small or something.  Normally, what I do when I get anxious or antsy is I go outside and do fast paced walking.  I have a daily goal of 10,000 steps or more and yesterday being a heat index of 110 or something, it really was not suitable.  I did go out early in the morning to get what I could even then it was steamy out.  Anyways, that lead to feeling like I did not have enough to occupy my mind with which is insane given I picked up three books of interest at the library and started doing loom projects , sort of like knitting .  For some reason, those things did not interest me and wasn’t what I felt like doing.  Then I started worrying about transitioning back to work after being off for two weeks and how well I would adjust.  It basically was one big down word spiral.

Anyone else with OCD have this issue?


3 thoughts on “This again!?

  1. Yes I worry constantly like that so I can totally relate. And I think a lot of people are feeling that anxiety about the AC and fans. Well I am anyway. I sat here on the couch listening to the thing running and not getting cooler than 78 in the house. I feel like I’m living in an old stale loud can and its making me nuts.

    Liked by 1 person

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