With job placement up in the air, and what ifs about fiances in the future, a lot of fear and ocd runinations come from this. It is odd that I feel hopeful and motivated all morning into early afternoon then after lunch it slips into the opposite. I have found doing substitute teaching is lonely work because you do not know any of the staff and there is no chance of getting to know the kids. The morning time went well in these assignments but then I become lonely and bored in the afternoon wanting to go home. The problem with subbing is the teacher leaves busy work to do but no lessons where your actually teaching something. I miss my long term assignments where I was teaching and knew the kids.
Too irritated to work on my class , did 2.5 hours of it this morning only to find out I was going about the assignment all wrong. That ended up being a big trigger to negative feelings or a downward spiral mood change.
I tend to do a lot of positive self talk to try and bring hope back in. You know pep yourself up, be thankful for what you do have. I will have to do that now again.
Recycle and repeat tomorrow or hopefully not repeat the negative part.