Well, I have completed two weeks of my new job and man it was like boot camp. Adjusting to getting up in the morning and getting ready on time, was hard work and continues to be a challenge. I really do not feel like doing anything for an hour after I wake up. Usually in the morning I feel the depression/anxiety of a new day and thinking too much. Wish that would go away. The depression isn’t the same as it was before the job started. It is still there because I have the loss of interest in things I used to be interested in and the general unmotivated feeling unless I have my Vyvanse and coffee in me. I do complete mindfulness meditation a few times a week and that does help. My husband’s presence when he is home from work helps a lot. OH and my cats are awesome. I am a big cat person, and they come to snuggle often. It has been hard to keep up with errands and chores, but I am doing an average job with that. I have kept up with my research methodology class but it has been a struggle because of the level of boring it is and it seems like a huge burden to even bother with.
I forgot what teaching middle school kids was like because I had been working with high schoolers all last year and wow. These kids are full of drama, pettiness, immaturity, and mischief. Trying to get my four classes used to their new teacher and behave was overwhelming and stressful. Although, Thursday and Friday things felt like for the first time they were falling in line better. My husband who is an experienced teacher and very good at classroom management has been coaching me on how to properly deal with behavior problem students. There is definitely learning happening with my students and that is very important and a positive.
Saw my therapist yesterday, she thought my affect was a lot better than our last visit and tomorrow I see my psychiatrist for a 3 week follow up to a medication adjustment. He put me on wellbutrin to help with the depression. Not sure if there has been a change because of the added med or if there is a change because I am working and busy, and not at home alone; left to my thoughts.
The other thing I find hard to do is preparing meals , that seems to be hard because I am not motivated to do it and it seems like a burden. I think that is due to the depression too.
All in all, I am working, bills are paid, doing well in my masters class, still fighting the depression, physically I am healthy. The sun comes up everyday no matter what.