I do not know how to process this…

I needed to write this somewhere, no one is available to talk on the phone therefore I do not have anyone to vent to.  Some background, a year ago there was marriage problems my husband I had.  It was bad, and basically he bottled up things he was unhappy about for years about our marriage then one day when I quit a job that I was very stressed and unhappy about, he let it all fly.  It was sudden, shocking, and I felt like I did not know him anymore.  It took awhile but we got to a better place with marriage counseling, and time basically.  Recently, or for the last four weeks, I have had up and down moods, a very stressful job, that exasperated my bipolar and ocd, and I quit the job.  Plus, I found out that the wellbutrin I was on can cause anxiety and sleeplessness and I was always amped up.  Last week, I finally got to get off  of it and today was the first day I felt much better.  Did not take the med for the first time.  Tonight, I ask my husband if he is ready for intimacy because it had been awhile.  He said he was not up for it because of stress.  He said the stress from my up and down moods , and also me having a job and not having a job.  I do not know how to process this, and I am left feeling inadequate, rejected, and I do not measure up.  Now I feel sad, and cried some by myself.  Anyone have any thoughts?


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