Well today I left the house because I was lonely, needed an excuse to do something and get out.  I went to get my nails done which was nice then needed to blow some time off before re-testing for allergies  because the office says you have to do it every few years.  So it was 11:45am and I wondered what to do.  I went over to the quarry lake where there is a walking path you can do.  I did that while talking to a friend on the phone about what happened with my husband.  Talking about it made me feel worse and more anxiety.  It probably did not help that I had just had another cup of coffee too.  Felt panicky and wanted to go home but could not because I needed to goto this appointment.  Took half an ativan, then got a sandwhich and went to the doctors office.  Turns out from four years of allergy shots, I am no longer allergic to a lot of things.  Very good news.  Got through all that, called my dad on the way home, needed to hear someone I love.  Got home and was glad to be home.  Been sitting here since just happy to be home.  The anxiety has gone down, but it had been a very goofy day.  Wish I could fall asleep for a nap but I know that hasn’t happened since I started taking vyvanse.  Before I could nap no problem.  I guess I took it as a tradeoff for the positive effects of vyvanse.  So I start my job Wednesday and I am scared to go but not sure why.  Doesn’t really make sense, it is going to be an easy and stress free job.  What am I afraid of?  Somethings that came to me were what if I have panic and cannot escape?  What if I wake up and take my meds but they do not kick in soon enough?  Anyone ever experience this?


4 thoughts on “panic

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