Well woke up with the panic of not wanting to get out of bed because today is the day before my first day of work, then I told myself, get up, feed the cats and fish, get meds in and coffee then breakfast. Once I did all that, I feel much better. Hopefully when I get up earlier tomorrow for work, all that will kick in in time before I have to go out the door. I cannot be afraid to goto work, I cannot live like this in this fear that is irrational. That is all it is, irrational. There is no basis or reason I should feel scared to go? So I will fight and fight hard to reclaim me and be productive. I deserve to not live in fear. The ativan and vyvanse helps a lot to get going in the morning.