one day at a time

Well I made it to my first day of work but at first I had to call in because the ativan I took was too much and I didn’t want to drive on it.  Then I made it in after it wore off some.  It was a very boring day because my student was in testing most of the day, so they put me in classes that were not testing and the teachers just had me observe.  It was not until at the end of the day that my boss could get to me and start to get me started for tomorrow.  By the time I left, I was glad to go home because I was so tired at that point.  It felt strange to be at work, with some anxiety, not a lot.  Sort of don’t want to go back, but I have no real reason to not want to go back.  Feels like depression is creeping on me with this feeling.  Hoping I can make it through this because lately everything seems like such a chore to do.  I am supposed to do an interview on monday to get into graduate school and you would think I would be happy about that but I have to do it after work and drive an hour, find parking , then go do it?  I am not even sure what kinds of questions they will be asking or how to prepare for this.  I am laying on the couch and all I feel like doing is be on the net, spend time with my cats, and have the tv on for background noise.  I should shower tonight, make sure I have something for lunch tomorrow and that seems like a chore.  blahhhhh It is good that I don’t have a stressful job with tons of responsibilities.  Maybe eating dinner , I will feel better.

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