Interpretations through this ordeal

Yesterday , I woke up, showered and went to an urgent care clinic because I could not fight the sinus infection anymore and was getting tired of it.  Seemed to have no problem doing it.  At the same time I was becoming increasingly sad because I was not feeling the same as I did Friday and Saturday.  Reflecting on those two days, it did seem pretty  manic.  In my mind, was let’s do everything and let’s do it fast and now.  Sort of seemed pretty euphoric.  I worried yesterday that I was backtracking to feeling morbidly depressed and ended up going down  rabbit hole of obsessing about that.  I ended up crying most of the day and felt awful.  Was so glad to goto bed.  Today I woke up feeling more balanced.  Did not have problems getting out of bed and felt motivated.  That is without coffee too.  It used to be that I could not get out of bed without coffee because of the severe depression.  I now feel balanced, and do not want to cry.  I stayed in bed longer not because I did not want to get out of it but because the sinus infection make me want to rest.  The meds are working for this sinus infection because now all the gunk is coming up of the infection, and I feel less like the dead.

Perhaps , the lithium is adjusting and trying to even out.  Perhaps it is my body that is trying to get used to it.  For what it is worth, the wild ride since Friday has finally landed on a good day and I am thankful for that.


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