There is this show called Impractical Jokers that is on Tru TV. Let me tell you how much better I feel watching this show. There are these four guys that have known each other since high school and have been doing improv since high school too. Eventually after a lot of hard work, they were offered a show. Basically they give each other challenges that they need to complete out in the public and do whatever the other guys tell them to do. It is extremely funny and I am left with a feeling that is much better than what I felt before.
Today and yesterday have felt particularly more down than past days. The mornings are the worst just getting out of bed. Typical depression feelings of not wanting to face the day again of more loneliness and depression, hard to get out, etc. I started my classes that are online on Monday and while I am working on them, I seem to feel better. Not much goes on other than chores and errands. I also help an elderly neighbor with her chores sometimes and walk her dog for her regularly . It is not enough really , I don’t have enough human interaction because my husband is at work and obviously I don’t see him til he gets home. Weekends are better because he is home all day. Unfortunately due to depression , I have not been back to subbing in a couple weeks, and have been to the humane society twice to volunteer but can’t seem to bring myself back. It makes all sense to go to spend a couple hours a day with animals, but my freaking mind can’t bring myself to get ready, get in the car, and go. I have stood in the hallway or kitchen trying to get myself to go but fail.
Things that always make me feel better: coffee, engaging conversations with friends and family, doing activities outside of the house with my husband, hiking, kayaking, etc. Stupid winter is still here until Saturday which will be 70 and I don’t know if it will change again to cold temps like it has been flip flopping often. I have gone hiking alone a couple times before when it was warm here a few weeks ago.
I guess the biggest annoyance and the reason I don’t want to get out of bed is I feel the depression first thing in the morning. If I am not busy doing something, it is there. If I am not engaged in something, it is there. If I feel like I have had too much alone time, feel depressed.
Ok, thanks for listening, I needed to get that out. There will probably be more of vent sessions. I am here all week.