Well, I have been feeling better.  It seems that applying for jobs and had an interview that went well really picked me up.  I feel like I did something productive, positive, and forward thinking.  The interview is for the new school year and I am also looking for a summer job that involves working with kids since all my experience is school related.  It also looks good for my masters degree.  Trying to ignore that I don’t have enough to do in a day.  My husband told me he would go crazy if he was in my position when I asked.  Another person said that too.  I may have asked but it did not make me feel any better.  Been trying to find meetup meetings but none are during the week and during the day, which is what I need.  Watering the garden, walking the neighbors dog, and chores does not take up my day.  I locked into Entourage and watched all seasons, LOL.  Now I have moved onto the sopranos.  My husband started on Tru Blood.  I do have a friend who is on medical leave who is home, he comes over once or twice a week which is cool.  Going hiking is what we do.

Our condo association has pools we can use but it is not fun laying out by myself.  I have gotten fed up doing things by myself a lot.  Did a lot of stuff over and over alone, just not enough social interaction.  My therapist says I need structure and socializing daily.  Hence trying to get a job.  The rest of my friends are at work.  Talking on the phone with family , I enjoy that.

I envy neurotypical people .  Life is so much easier for them compared to someone who has had life interrupted many times, left without a job, forced to pick up the pieces every time.  Neurotypical people do not know stress at all compared to atypical people.  We go through so much stress that they will only see until they are elderally.

As I rack my brain trying to figure out what to do that involves socializing, it makes me feel sad.  I did sign up for volunteering with  nami but they don’t need anyone during the day.  I signed up with the humane society, but don’t seem to care to go.  I do not know why.  I signed up to do a research job with them where they actually interviewed me for a volunteer position.  Supposed to be a 4 person job.  Was supposed to hear back Friday but did not.  I will follow up.

The positives are I have my family, friends, my husband, cats, transportation, and bills paid.  I am in my masters program too and have my health.  I keep hoping for more things to happen to me.  Over and out.


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