Have not written in a long time but have been reading here and there on wordpress. Work has been going fine as well as classes and I have felt stable until five days ago. I had been on the weight watchers diet for three months now and have only lost five pounds and it fluctuates. Over time, I became obsessed with weight and my OCD took over with it. Since then, I have been having problems wanting to goto work, getting ready for work, counting down the minutes or hours to get home from work or class. It is very frusterating, and you would think that work or class would distract me from these feelings, but it is not working. When the teacher just talks at you for 2.5 hours, I lose interest after the first half hour. Today, I couldn’t get to work, could not get ready in time, didn’t care. Called in, and so far I have been doing things around the house slowly. I have one assignment I need to do before tomorrow and I have a counseling appointment in the afternoon but that is a long wait to go when you feel like you need to go a lot sooner. Then I have small periods of feeling better, but it passes and the sadness or uneasiness comes back.
I have to wonder if I am having bipolar swings or is my OCD running amuck? I wish I was not home alone, but my husband has to work. Feel like crying, then I get distracted.